Make many not one
Hi pal!
Nearly all my life I’ve avoided doing things where I’m forced to speak in front of people, it even includes writing. However, in the form of text, I’ve mostly beaten this fear, at least on here, because you’re quite a small group of people that I’ve come to trust.
In person, with my voice, with my face, speaking is instantly more nerve-wracking. Even then I still felt the need to try to make a Youtube video. I think writing what’s on my mind every week is one thing, it lets me kinda stash them away and forget about them. Something different happens when I’m forced to say what’s on my mind out loud to a camera, and then listen to myself for HOURS while I edit the video and examine every single word as I try to sort out all the bullshit rambling.
The result is this video about Never Finishing Anything. It’s a more in-depth story of how I actually made Plock, the game I made as an exercise in finishing projects.
The video is far from perfect - the video quality is webcam-potato, I’m a bit incoherent, my voice comes and goes. Which is fine, it’s just a first try. Now I know what to improve for my next videos (which will be about Surmount).
Last week I had an email exchange with Wren, an Indie Notebook reader. They said something very spot-on about how to improve at your craft.
“This reminds me of a concept in life drawing in which whenever the model strikes a longer pose (say, 20 minutes), instead of doing a single long drawing you do 20 shitty 1 minute ones. The 20th 1 minute drawing will usually be as good, if not better than the single longer one you would’ve done otherwise, and you've learned so much more than you would’ve otherwise.”
It’s a good reminder to give up on perfectionism, that obsessing about the details isn’t gonna fix the fundamental issues. In order for me to improve the video I made, I would’ve had to rewrite parts of it and rerecord all of it. I prefer to spend that effort on making the next one better instead.
❓Question time
What’s something you’ve always been too scared to try?
As for me I think the fear of what other people will think was the main reason that I held off for so long on making a Youtube video. Luckily my fear was made easier when I admitted to myself that not a lot of people would see it. And if for some unlikely reason a big flock of people would see it, that would just mean that it’s actually pretty good.
Feel free to tell it in the comments or simply reply to this email!
Thank you so much to the people who send comments and email-replies. It makes me very happy every time I see your words appear on my screen. And thank you to everyone who reads Indie Notebook, I’m happy to know these emails land somewhere!
Have a creative week. :- )
Ps. Check this out, I finally received my Playdate in the mail!
It’s been two years since I ordered it (thank you mom and dad for this birthday gift). I’ve been playing with it for about a week and done some coding tests for it. I’m definitely gonna write something more related to this some day, it’s such a lovely thing.
Between your singing/guitar playing and this Youtube video, I'm thinking...the world needs more Jonas on video. As someone who also struggles on video---well done to you!
I love what you said about skills and finishing. It's true, you could have an amazing skill but if you don't use it to finish things, it's such a waste.
Good on you for pushing yourself past your old comfort zones. It’s inspiring
Now, I checked out Plock last weekend and had a fun time with it.
Tetris type games are not really my cup of tea (basically any arcade-like, score based unending games don’t tend to appeal much to me) . But I liked the intentionally slightly “messy” feel of Plock - it feels less “claustrophobic” for a guy like me :)
There were things where I felt it could use some polish, which is only natural. Overall though it’s an interesting game: like a colorful, fast-paced and ever-moving game of connect the dots or something.
Something I have been too scared to try?
Maybe wearing more clothes that don’t fit cultural expectations. It is something I do do but at times it doesn’t feel like it’s worth it. It seems like a balance, anyway.